How to Become Emotionally Numb Again

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Life can brand you feel some intense, turbulent emotions: sadness, anger, jealousy, despair, or emotional pain. It is not e'er possible (or fifty-fifty a practiced thought) to plough off these emotions, since they can assist yous work through your issues and improve your life.^[1] Yet, sometimes stiff emotions tin can make information technology hard for you to role, and you have to numb yourself temporarily only to get through the day. To make yourself emotionally numb under such circumstances, you lot'll demand to work at controlling your surroundings, paying close attention to your emotions, calming yourself physically, and dealing with feet as it pops upwards.

See When Should You Endeavour This? to acquire more about when numbing your emotions might be a good course of activity.

1. 1

   Recognize that numbing yourself comes at a cost. Studies bear witness that repressing negative emotions tin can deplete your psychological resources, making it more difficult for y'all to handle stress and make proficient decisions. This means that numbing yourself from emotional pain might hurt your resilience or even your power to recall events. Merely numb yourself if it is truly necessary for you to get through your daily life.

   • An effective culling to numbing yourself is to work through your emotional pain past reframing it and focusing on more positive emotions. For example, you might want to numb yourself to an embarrassing incident that happened to you lot at piece of work. However, maybe yous can endeavor to see that the incident is not humiliating, merely rather quite funny. This is ordinarily known every bit cerebral reappraisal and, while not the aforementioned equally emotional numbness, tin produce a similar desired event.^[2]
   • Be enlightened that feelings of total or long-term numbness might be an indication of mental wellness disorders such as post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)^[3] or clinical low.^[iv] If you experience constantly lost, numb, and hopeless, you lot should see your doctor or therapist as soon every bit possible.

2. 2

   Avoid people, settings, and events yous dislike . The easiest way for you to numb your emotional response is to control your surround. Make sure that y'all are not triggering farthermost emotional responses in the first identify.^[5] If yous know that certain people, places, and activities bring out the worst in you lot, try to stay away from them every bit much as possible.

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3. 3

   Take control over situations you dislike. Sometimes you have to be around people you dislike or perform tasks yous hate. If you cannot avoid the things that crusade you emotional pain, find ways to take command over them. Do non view yourself as a helpless victim: observe as much agency as y'all tin in the state of affairs. Simply reminding yourself that you ever have a selection can help you lot get through emotional times relatively unscathed.^[6] For example:

   • If you lot get stressed out studying for tests the night before the exam, try studying for the exam two nights before instead. And so you can relax the nighttime before the exam.
   • If you lot hate going to parties because in that location are as well many people, ask 1 or ii close friends to attend it with you. Seek them out if you need to go abroad from the crowd and have a more individual chat.

4. 4

   Distract yourself . When you feel your emotions getting in your style, terminate what you are doing immediately and practise something else instead. Try to do an activity that will require you to focus all of your mental and emotional attention on information technology. By distracting yourself, you will exist able to process your emotions later, when you are more likely to be calm and reasonable. Simply for at present, don't worry near processing your emotional land: merely modify your mood by changing your activity. Some good activities include:

   • Playing a video game
   • Watching a movie
   • Engaging in your favorite hobby
   • Going to a concert or comedy show
   • Exercising
   • Counting down from 100 in increments of 7
   • Focusing on finding a color, such as blue, in your surroundings
   • Noticing how your feet experience on the ground

5. 5

   Give yourself engineering breaks . Technology can pb to more intense emotions: by remaining plugged in, you are exposing yourself to added work stress, life stress, and feelings of helplessness. Y'all can make yourself calmer and happier instantly by quitting social media sites.^[seven] Take control over your emotional life by limiting the amount of time y'all spend on the cyberspace.^[eight] In order to limit your internet apply, you can:

   • Check email at work but--never at habitation
   • Plow your phone off in the evenings
   • Turn off social media notifications
   • Take down your social media profiles
   • Take a break from the internet during weekends

6. 6

   Act neutral, even if yous practice non feel that mode. Co-ordinate to the Facial Feedback Hypothesis, you can change your emotional country simply by changing your facial expression. In other words: past pretending to experience a sure way, you tin actually begin feeling that fashion for real. If y'all want to be emotionally numb, act emotionally numb. This might be difficult during times of stress, but with some practice it will soon become natural. Stay neutral by:

   • Maintaining a cool, deadpan expression
   • Keeping your lips neutral, in neither a grinning nor a pout
   • Speaking in low tones at a low volume
   • Remaining terse by keeping your sentences cursory and to the point
   • Maintaining eye contact with a calm, blank stare

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1. 1

   Tell yourself that negative emotions are all in your brain. Tell yourself that negative emotions are not objective facts: you are never forced to feel emotional hurting. Call back that emotional pain comes from your own listen.^[9] This means that you tin rise above many negative emotions such as fearfulness, anxiety, and acrimony. When a negative emotion threatens to sally, simply dismiss it with the mantra: "This is only in my heed." This is an essential component of mindfulness.

2. 2

   Rehearse situations that might cause you lot emotional hurting in the hereafter. In addition to armoring yourself against emotional pain you experience in the nowadays, you lot can also utilise mindfulness techniques to set yourself for future emotional hurting. Think virtually events in the about future that might crusade yous distress, such as a stressful exam, a potential fight with your girlfriend, or a difficult task at piece of work. Imagine a calm, unemotional response to each of these future events, and practice overcoming these negative emotions. Shortly you will inure yourself to these strong emotions, and you will be improve equipped to handle yourself calmly.^[ten]

3. 3

   Pay attending to your emotional state. Every twenty-four hour period, perform a few periodic "mental check-ins" to determine your emotional well-existence at that specific fourth dimension. Fifty-fifty when you are not sad or upset, being mindful of what yous are feeling and why will assist you sympathise your instinctive emotional responses to everyday life.^[11] Somewhen, your mindfulness will permit y'all to command your emotional responses more than effectively. When you perform your "mental check-in," ask yourself the post-obit questions:

   • What am I feeling in this moment? Am I feeling a single, overwhelming emotion, or a combination of emotions? Simply giving your emotions a characterization can help you lot view them more objectively.^[12]
   • Why am I feeling this manner? Are my emotions due to internal factors (such equally my own fears) or external factors (such as when somebody yells at me)?
   • Do I similar the way I am feeling now? Perhaps you are feeling joyful or grateful almost life and desire to foster these emotions. But maybe you are feeling anxious or nervous and practise not want to experience these emotions in the future.
   • What can I do to control my feelings in the futurity? Ask yourself if y'all can encourage your positive emotions while discouraging or even dismissing your negative ones. How can you structure your life so that you are the i decision-making your emotions--non letting your emotions control you?

4. 4

   Don't beat yourself upwards for showing emotions. Sometimes your emotional armor might crevice, and you might observe yourself expressing emotions you hoped not to express. Maybe you cried at work or couldn't hide your distress at schoolhouse. Tell yourself that this happens to everybody, and try to acquire from the experience.^[13] Some means to help yous forgive yourself include:

   • Focus on your future, not the present. Ask yourself whether your electric current failure has taught you whatsoever lessons about how you will react in the hereafter. Pat yourself on the dorsum for learning from a difficult situation.^[14]
   • Tell yourself that resilience simply comes from failures. You cannot exist emotionally stiff correct away: you will have to practice it slowly, over time. Look at this as one step on your journey to controlling your emotions.^[xv]
   • Keep things in perspective. Call back that the person who cares the most most your emotional state is you. Your colleagues, swain students, friends, and family members volition shortly forget if you had a modest burst. Call back that this is not the end of the world: information technology is a modest blip in your life.^[xvi]

5. five

   Accept fourth dimension before reacting. If something happens to upset you, try to remain at-home and blank for a few minutes. Exhale securely and count to ten. Once you lot've gotten past the immediate emotional response, y'all will exist able to respond to the situation calmly and rationally instead of with pure emotion.^[17]

6. 6

   Continue a diary. One great way to keep your emotions from taking over your life is to let them spill out . . . on paper. Expel your emotions by writing them down in a periodical. This volition let you to forget about your emotional country and motility on with your life.^[18] Studies bear witness that people who write well-nigh their mood changes in journals feel like they take greater control over their emotional states.^[19] Commit to writing in your journal at predetermined points during the day or during those times when you think you might exist getting emotional.

   • Pay particular attention to whether y'all recollect your emotional reaction is one that a mentally healthy person would share or whether your reaction is exaggerated somehow.^[20]
   • Be sure to inquire yourself whether you take felt this way in the past. This volition assistance yous find a pattern in your emotional state.
   • If something upsetting happens to yous, tell yourself that you volition only write about it after in your diary. This will help prevent you lot from reacting emotionally in the moment.

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1. 1

   Take deep breaths. Deep breathing exercises volition aid you maintain your at-home demeanor. They are likewise a nifty coping machinery when y'all feel your emotions rising to the surface.^[21] Exhale in through your nose for five seconds, agree for five seconds, then release through your oral fissure for five seconds. Echo equally necessary until y'all have regained your composure.^[22]

   • You lot can besides inhale for 4 seconds, concur for four seconds, exhale for four seconds, and hold for another 4 seconds.^[23]
   • You might also calm down past visualizing a safe place, like a hammock on a warm, sunny island, or thinking near a pet at home.^[24]

2. 2

   Do vigorous aerobic action for 30 minutes. Exercise tin can help distract you from painful emotions and volition besides let yous to exist a calmer, more than rational person. Observe your favorite sport, exercise, or physical activity. Whenever you feel emotions begin to bubble up, put on your gym shoes and go your heart pumping. Soon you will forget about your emotional response.^{[25] [26]} Some first-class concrete outlets include:

   • Running or jogging
   • Bicycling
   • Pond
   • Team sports such as softball or soccer
   • Martial arts
   • Kickboxing
   • Dancing

3. 3

   Avert substance use. Information technology might be tempting to employ substances in order to slow your emotions. Withal, many drugs and alcohol also work to lower your inhibitions, leading you to have emotional reactions of even greater intensity. Even caffeine tin trigger a stress reaction.^[27] Go along yourself calm and emotionally neutral by abstaining from drugs, alcohol, and caffeine.

   • An important exception to this is if you require psychiatric medication for a mental health disorder. If this is the case, follow your md'southward instructions at all times.

4. 4

   Go a expert night's residual. Sleeplessness can go far hard to handle your emotions neutrally and calmly.^[28] Be sure that you sleep at to the lowest degree 8 hours each dark. If yous accept a difficult time sleeping, be certain that yous:

   • Avoid blue light, which is emitted by electronics, for at least 3 hours before bed^[29]
   • Keep your bedroom cool and well-ventilated
   • Have a comfortable mattress
   • Apply a white noise machine to drown out ambient dissonance
   • Avoid caffeine, alcohol, and heavy meals, specially in the evenings

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1. 1

   Maintain a social network. Sometimes feelings of anxiety or depression might make you want to isolate yourself. However, your social ties are one of the keys to maintaining a salubrious emotional residual.^[30] Talk to your friend and family unit members when you lot brainstorm to feel overwhelmed, and let them help you process your emotions. While it isn't making yourself emotionally numb per se, you will be able to recover more quickly.

   • The quality of your friendships matters more than than the quantity.^[31]

2. 2

   Take positive action. Sometimes you might get anxious when in that location is a situation that you cannot control. Rather than stewing most information technology, you should try to take decisive action in order to ameliorate the situation. Resist the urge to detach: that will simply make you feel more than stressed out for longer.^[32]

   • For example, if you are stressed out about an upcoming examination, don't try to forget about information technology. Instead, tell yourself that you will study for xx minutes a mean solar day: that volition aid you lot overcome your anxiety.

3. iii

   Tell yourself that stress is simply temporary. It is important to recollect that most stressful events will be over soon: they do not last forever. Whether it is a party you don't desire to attend, an exam you lot don't want to take, or a piece of work project you despise, tell yourself that the stressful situation will pass. Practise not feel like your whole life is wrapped up in one moment of stress.^{[33] [34]}

   • Things like psychotherapy, meditation, regular practice, and regular time in the lord's day may help you manage your stress better.^[35]

4. iv

   Take a break. Sometimes you are better equipped to deal with stress after you have allowed yourself a brief time to recover. If you are start to experience completely overwhelmed, spend just twenty-thirty minutes taking a walk, talking to a friend, or listening to your favorite anthology. Return to the stressful situation once you experience calmer and ready to face it head-on.^[36]

   • Just changing your environment for every bit piffling every bit 30 minutes can exist helpful. For instance, you could go outside.
   • You volition be especially relaxed if you engage in an activity that involves being social (such equally getting a coffee with friends) or being outside (such as walking around a lake). These tin be more than effective than television at getting y'all calmed down and rejuvenated.^[37]

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1. 1

   Attempt muting your emotions when you're facing a challenge. Heightened emotions can sometimes become in the way when yous're trying to deal with a high-stress situation. For example, if you lot've got to give a big speech or presentation, fear might deject your ability to think clearly and execute your delivery. Knowing how to mute that sense of fear can come in handy when you take to overcome challenges at work and schoolhouse.

2. ii

   Put your emotions temporarily aside when you have a decision to make. Emotions have a office to play in controlling, but sometimes it's important to set them aside and assess other factors. For example, maybe you feel devastated later a breakdown and are tempted to motion to a new city and then you don't accept to meet your ex. If you're able to come across beyond the sadness and weigh other factors, y'all might be less likely to drop everything and leave.

3. 3

   Numb your emotions when you're in a situation y'all can't control. Numbing your emotions can be a useful defence mechanism. Mayhap at that place'due south a bully at school, or you accept a sibling with whom y'all don't get along. If you're in a situation that's tough to change, you lot can protect yourself by temporarily shutting off your feelings to help you lot go through the mean solar day.

4. 4

   Avoid cut yourself off from your emotions as well often. Nosotros feel emotions for a reason. They are essential to navigating the world and, ultimately, surviving with our mental health intact. If you routinely numb your emotions, y'all're cutting yourself off from experiences that your heed needs to experience. Fear, sadness, despair, and other emotions that don't experience skillful to feel are nevertheless just as important equally joy and excitement. If you lot don't let yourself feel sad, information technology'll be harder and harder to experience happy. Rather than numbing your emotions, learn to get in touch with them and utilize them to your advantage.

   • Becoming emotionless, or out-of-touch with your emotions, can cause you to make bad decisions.^[38]

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Add together New Question

• Question

  How tin I exist more than emotionally intelligent?

  

  Dr. Adam Dorsay is a licensed psychologist in private practice in San Jose, CA, and the co-creator of Project Reciprocity, an international program at Facebook's Headquarters, and a consultant with Digital Ocean'south Safety Team. He specializes in assisting high-achieving adults with human relationship issues, stress reduction, anxiety, and attaining more happiness in their lives. In 2016 he gave a well-watched TEDx talk well-nigh men and emotions. Dr. Dorsay has a M.A. in Counseling from Santa Clara University and received his doctorate in Clinical Psychology in 2008.

  

  Licensed Psychologist & TEDx Speaker

  Practiced Answer

  Try to view your emotions as a second linguistic communication. Learn more about your emotions, recognize that you might be a trivial impuissant with them at first, and be patient with yourself. Instead of saying "I don't want to be emotional," gear up a goal similar "I want to be more in command of my emotions" or "I want to acquire from my emotions."

• Question

  I simply desire to stop feeling everything. It'due south as well overwhelming. When I button everything inside, it just explodes afterward, and I may have harmed myself because of this. What is wrong with me?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Advisor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional person Advisor

  Expert Respond

  Existence on both ends of the emotional spectrum isn't healthy. Information technology would be best for y'all to run into a mental health professional, who tin can help you make up one's mind the causes of your emotional turmoil. Yous may have a possible trauma that has not been dealt with. Information technology's likewise a good idea to become a physical exam to eliminate any physical causes for your overwhelming feelings.

• Question

  Is information technology the best choice to be emotionally numb when you're always facing emotional blackmail?

  

  Paul Chernyak is a Licensed Professional Counselor in Chicago. He graduated from the American School of Professional Psychology in 2011.

  

  Licensed Professional Counselor

  Expert Reply

  You lot should only numb your emotions temporarily and for a short period of time. Eventually, you volition need to deal with the underlying issues that are causing your unpleasant emotions.

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• Sometimes your social network tin help you lot process emotions calmly. At other times, being around people might heighten your emotional state. Practise what you think is best for you, and take care of yourself at all times.

• Avoiding your feelings can sometimes atomic number 82 to further emotional distress. Discover healthy means to process your emotions--if not at present, and so at a subsequently fourth dimension.

• Endeavour to aim for calmness and neutrality over total numbness. Observe ways to react calmly in difficult situations without completely shutting downwards your emotions.

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• Emotional numbness can sometimes be a sign of a more serious mental disorder. If y'all have lost the power to feel happiness, surprise, or pleasure, talk to a doctor about handling options.^[39]

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Article Summary Ten

To make yourself emotionally numb to aid you go through extremely trying times, avoid people, places, or things that may trigger you to feel worse. In addition to avoiding triggers, distract yourself with an activity that requires your focus, like playing a video game, going to a concert, exercising, or counting down from 100 in increments of 7. If you lot still feel yourself getting upset or worked up, take deep breaths to become calm. Some other method to assistance you numb your emotions is to get a good dark'due south slumber. Sleeplessness can make you lot feel more emotional, so be sure to get at least viii hours of rest each night to help proceed your emotions in cheque. To learn how to deed neutral to experience more emotionally numb, keep reading!

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